Last week, Public Policy Polling released the results of a nationwide survey on people's opinions on the states. Hawaii and Colorado got the highest favorability ratings, California and Illinois got the lowest ratings.
I decided to take on the results from a different angle. I didn't want to focus on the states people liked or disliked, I wanted to see which states no one particularly cared about. So I went through the survey and pulled out all of the "no opinion" responses, state-by-state.
These are the 11 U.S. states that inspire the most indifference (even if the concept of "most indifference" is vaguely paradoxical)... along with my suggestions of what they're bringing to the table to help you form an opinion.
New Mexico (55% indifferent) - You may be indifferent toward New Mexico but Jesus isn't. He spent his Ash Wednesday there. A guy in Espanola, New Mexico was about to eat a tortilla last Wednesday when he saw Jesus had appeared. He told the localpress, "New Mexico has always been known to have interesting things happen during Lent." So form an opinion on New Mexico by heading there during this time of year. You never know. Perhaps St. Francis of Assisi will appear to you in an enchilada.
Jesus wants you to eat fewer carbs.
- Wyoming (55% indifferent) - I've been to Wyoming for a night and that place isvacant. I was in Cheyenne, the capital city, and it seemed like a tiny town. Until then I didn't realize that even though it's the 10th biggest state in terms of physical size, it has the smallest population. It even has fewer people than Washington D.C. So go there and have the same experience I did -- going to a Chili's and not having a wait. That alone made ME form a positive opinion.
- Minnesota (56% indifferent) - It's called the Land of 10,000 Lakes but really, they've got 11,842. Why not advertise the real number? Haven't they heard that 11,000 lakes are cool, 10,000 lakes are for cowards?
North Dakota (56% indifferent) - Believe it or not, the most lucrative place to be a stripper in the entire country is in North Dakota.Really. Williston, North Dakota, to be exact. Williston is an oil boomtown so it's got thousands of men who flocked there for extremely lucrative jobs... and they're spending their money at the strip clubs. Apparently the average stripper there makes at least $2,000 every night, 365 days a year -- no other city's strip club scan come anywhere close to that, not even Las Vegas. And because of that, America's most attractive and talented strippers are now making pilgrimages to North Dakota.
The main street of America's strip club capital.
- Indiana (57% indifferent) - How can the home of Notre Dame inspire indifference? I heard from a their fans that they're going to win the national championship this year.
- Missouri (57% indifferent) - It's (somewhat unfairly) called the meth capital of the U.S.! I say "somewhat unfairly" because they had the most meth labs busted last year (2,096) -- and that earned them the DEA's title of "top meth producing state." That seems like faulty logic. Maybe they're just really good at busting meth labs.Doesn't that disincentivize states to bust meth labs? Someone tell Nelly to call his local congressman and complain.
- Rhode Island (58% indifferent) - The smallest state with the longest name. The official name isn't Rhode Island -- it's "The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations." That's not a reference to slavery -- here "plantations" meant "colony." But "plantation" causes such a knee-jerk reaction sometimes, it could cause some confusion. I go through the same uneasiness every time I eat at Souplantation.
- Kansas (59% indifferent) - Kansas has more than 6,000 ghost towns and one wicked witch -- both the most in the country.
Idaho (59% indifferent) - Easy reason to dislike Idaho: Boise State's blue field coupled with their success started the trend of schools making their football fields and basketball courts hideously ugly in an attempt to somehow become powerhouse programs. My retinas have been ruined because of Idaho. On the plus side, everyone knows Idaho leads the country in producing potatoes... but they also lead the country in making the cheese that winds up in spray cans. Does Easy Cheese compensate for a bright blue football field? Pick a side, America.
How I summarize Idaho.
(Side note: When I type statements like "Does Easy Cheese compensate for a bright blue football field?" sometimes I take a moment of pause and wonder how my life ended up here.)
- Nebraska (60% indifferent) - Kool-Aid was invented in Nebraska -- and even though it's not actually a soft drink, it's Nebraska's official soft drink. So you can feel free to bust through any wall in the entire state as long as you say "Oh yeah!"
- West Virginia (62% indifferent) - The state that the fewest people have an opinion toward is West Virginia -- over three-fifths of the people surveyed gave it a "Meh." You know this is where Katniss Everdeen is from, right? I bet if "West Virginia" just pulled the trigger and renamed itself "District 12" its popularity rating would triple.
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